Flying Free
by stardust2002
Summary: Kara Thrace's story, from way back to approx. mid season 2. Goes slightly AU at the end as I couldn't bring myself to follow canon and have her die. KL. Summary: Kara's destiny was to fly free.


**Flying Free**

_**There is a place I call my own **_

_**Where I can stand by the sea**_

_**And look beyond the things I've known and dream that I**_

_**Might be free**_

'Kara', her mother called sweetly. "Oh Kara, come here honey.'

She crouched lower down in the bushes. She was only seven years old but she'd learned early that when her mother spoke like that she was angry - very angry - and Kara would bear the brunt of that anger. Hiding was best, if she could, until her mother either found another target to vent to anger on or passed out from the alcohol.

Her mother's voice faded into the background as she continued to call, Kara's small ears becoming attuned to the sounds around her instead - the rustling of the leaves in the breeze, the chatter of a pair of squirrels in a nearby tree ... the soft lulling sound of the river water licking the rocks on it's journey out to sea. _That_ was her favourite place to be - on the big rock by the edge of the river imagining she was floating effortlessly between water and sky. It had always been a special place for her but more so now since she needed a place of escape - even just mentally sometimes - from her mother's unpredictable rages.

'Come on Kara, where's my special little girl?' her mother coaxed.

Special. What she wouldn't give to be ordinary, for her life to be plain and simple like everyone else's seemed to be.

What she wouldn't give just to be free ...

_**Like the bird up in the trees**_

_**Gliding gently on the breeze**_

_**I wish that all my life I'd be without a care**_

_**And flying free**_

The last goal of the game. She'd scored the last goal of the game and brought them within two points of winning ... but they'd still lost. It had been a fantastic game - the teams had been well-matched for a change but still Kara's team had lost.

It didn't matter how close they'd come, her mother had had nothing but nasty words to say about the loss. 'Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades' she'd said and Kara had felt the familiar tightening of the knot in her stomach.

She closed her eyes and sat outside on the bench listening to her teammates rehash the game as they left the school gym. There was pride in all of their voices - disappointment as well, but pride that they'd played the best they could and had only just been beaten. She felt a stab of pain in her chest as she listening to their parents consoling them - 'it was a good game honey', 'you came so close - next time you'll beat them', 'you gave your best effort yet - good job', 'winning isn't everything - you played so well you deserved to win'. Why did_ her_ mother never think anything was good enough?

As she breathed deeply, eyes still shut, she heard the faint sound of a songbird in the trees ... beautiful and carefree, the only concern the bird had was to spread it's joy in living with every other living soul around. She sighed. What she wouldn't give to be happy for a change.

What she wouldn't give to be that bird ...

_**But life is not a distant sky without a cloud, without rain**_

_**And I can never hope that I **_

_**Can travel on**_

_**Without pain**_

'I did it mom, the first person in our family ever to graduate as an officer.'

Kara had been so proud - it had been a long haul for her at the Academy but she'd made it through ... only thanks to flying. Raptors had been exceedingly fun but the first time she'd lowered herself into the cockpit of a Viper she'd known that was where she belonged. She fit there like she hadn't anywhere else - even the Pyramid Court, though she'd once been positive that was her destiny.

But of course as usual, her mother ruined her joy in her accomplishment. Anything she was successful at her mother criticized - 'yes you're good, but you're not good enough' was always her mantra. 'Other people may think you're successful but I know you'll always be a frak-up.'

Kara had run, tears blinding her, for what seemed like hours. You'd think by now she'd know better than to expect support or praise from her mother but that vulnerable little girl inside the grown woman's body still sought approval from the one place she should have received it.

When her mother died five weeks later Kara couldn't help but be relieved she was free of the one person who continually tore her down. She knew it was a horrible thing to feel glad at the death of a parent but now she could finally break away and not be stuck in her mother's shadow any longer.

For so long she'd wished she could be free and now she finally was ...

_**Time goes swiftly on it's way**_

_**All too soon we've lost today**_

_**I cannot wait for skies of blue or dream so long**_

_**That life is through**_

Frak!

The cylons took it all away - nearly wiped them out. Nothing was left of the place humanity had called home for thousands of years. Not surprising then that everyone was walking around looking shellshocked ... Kara had yet to see those on the civilian ships but she supposed they didn't look any different, save perhaps that they had time to process their grief at losing everything and everyone they loved. Those on Galactica didn't have that luxury - it was fight or die, and not just themselves, they were responsible for all of humanity. In effect every single person on the warship became an Atlas, holding the weight of the worlds on their shoulders and knowing that one little screw-up might wipe out the last human beings in the galaxy. What a weight to labour under - it was no wonder people were beginning to crack under the strain.

Kara supposed she should feel lucky. She'd already had nothing to live for on Caprica - no parents, no one she loved left. A few friends and acquaintances but no one that really mattered. Everyone and everything she loved and considered family was right here with her, Helo, the Old Man, Lee ... Some of them were tough relationships at best but at least she was one of the lucky ones.

She had family.

_**So life's a song that I must sing**_

_**A gift of love I must share**_

_**And when I see the joy it brings my spirits soar**_

_**Through the air**_

Flying with him was like an exotic pas de deux. It was erotic, sexy, dangerous and a hell of a lot of fun. Life was good - she spent the better part of every day and night with Lee, and while if she'd been anyone else she'd have gloated in the fact that she had humanity's most eligible bachelor as hers alone, the reward of having him was enough that gloating wasn't necessary.

Their relationship was still a difficult one as working together and sleeping together didn't necessarily go hand in hand very well but somehow they managed to make it work. Fighting happened regularly ... perhaps too regularly, but they'd learned the art of 'making up' and sometimes Kara was certain Lee pushed her buttons to start a fight just for the reward of the 'make up ' afterwards. She had to smile at his boyishness - it was good to see him letting his guard down and playing with her. He was just too serious otherwise and while he looked damned good serious he looked a damn sight better when he was naked and playful in her bed.

The Commander still had issues with 'them' but he'd put them aside as he realized that being more than friends had only solidified the great working relationship they already had. They were a team to be reckoned with out there as the cylons had already found out, and in fact he found himself stopping whatever he was doing in CIC to watch them on dradis and listen to the CAP chatter when they were out together. He'd confided that fact to Kara one evening when they were having dinner and she blushed up to the roots of her hair. Finally she had someone who loved her the way a parent should, and supported her in what she did.

Finally she was free to be who she really was ...

_**Like that bird up in the sky**_

_**Life has taught me how to fly**_

_**For now I know what I can be and now my heart **_

_**Is flying free**_

_ fin _


End file.
